Men That I [Am/Am Not] Jealous Of

However bad life may seem, I can at least be thankful of one thing every Monday morning when scanning the weekend's newspapers: that I am not Alexis Petridis. Not only does this chap have to water down every last thing he writes to fulfil a populist yet faux-edgy opinion former role (it's surely on both the GQ and Guardian contracts) but he also has to do Guardian men's fashion. This appears to translate as Jess Cartner-Morley dressing him up as a twat week in, week out and then shooting him looking terribly uncomfortable for the Guardian Weekend. Alexis, whilst I am of course obscenely jealous of both your GQ and Guardian Music Editor job titles, I'll never let JCM dress me as a 2005 Kaiser Chief/twat: